To Pay or Not to Pay (Allowance that is)

It’s a many times rehashed debate.

Should I pay my kids for doing chores, or not? Should they earn an allowance for the things they do around the house?

There seem to be two views on this issue. The No! club who believes that kids should contribute to the upkeep of their home and shouldn’t expect to be compensated. And then the Yes! club who tends to think that kids should be paid for helping out and being responsible. After all, it prepares them for having a real job in the future.

As a parent, I tend to lean towards the no club with some of the yes philosophy thrown in for good measure. My core belief is that basic home clean up and management is something that every member of the house should be a part of to make things run smoothly for everyone. I don’t feel that I need to pay my kids to handle their part of this system. 

Everyone in the house has their roles that they play. My husband and I are the primary income earners. He handles most of the maintenance and up keep on the cars and house. I handle most of our budget and meal planning systems. The kids fill in where they can and where I need them to. 

I want my kids to be able to handle all aspects of running a house once they move out. I want my boys to know how to cook. I want my daughter to be able to change a doorknob and mow the yard.

Our System

That said, kids need money. So, what do you do if your kids are too young to have a job, or just aren’t employed?

I have two answers to this. The first answer consists of the system I really like and I think would work great for a family theoretically. The second answer is my actual honest answer that I really use.

First, the plan I really like. 

I love the idea of the kids taking on special chores that are not the basic ones and being able to earn money for these. I love the little boards where the chore and the amount to be paid for its completion are clothes-pinned together all neat and pretty. I have handled spending money like this before, and my kids loved it. They were motivated and excited to choose a chore and earn the extra money! If I could have maintained it, it would have been amazing.

However, there were two issues that I had with this system. Starting with the fact that I have seven kids. That is a lot of stinking chores. If I wanted to be able to give each kid $10 spending money each week, I’d have to post $70 worth of chores each week. Then, I’d have a kid who needed $15 that week and not have any chores left. And, let’s face it, having seven kids is freaking expensive. There were weeks where I didn’t have $5 to give each kid. I have found that if I can’t be consistent with something, it’s just not effective.

So, what do I actually do?

What I actually do is have a chore chart that lists all the chores I need done each week. I count the chores and divide them up between the kids. For example, this week I have nine kids at the house. My niece is staying with us to finish her senior year, and one of my son’s friends is staying with us until he gets a job and can find a place to live. The house rule is anyone who is staying here pitches in and helps, so they are added into the rotation. Since there are nine kids, they each have to choose eight chores this week.

When the kids were little, I could just assign what they were doing each week. They are teens now, and I can’t do that. School events and work and social things (and on and on and on) monopolize their time. As soon as I try to tell them I need them to do the dishes on Monday, I am met with, ‘But, I’m working that night.’

To combat that problem, I just tell them how many chores they need to choose each week and leave the rest up to them. Matt, for example, is my oldest and is planning to be gone for the entire weekend. He automatically knows not to sign up for any chores on those days. To make up for it, he might choose to do three chores on Monday, two on Tuesday, do nothing on Wednesday because he has a date, and do his last three on Thursday. If they sign up, it’s their responsibility. Period. If their plans change, it’s up to them to get someone to handle their chores.  I have heard some crazy bartering going on!

But, What if they NEED Money?

Now. Chores are done and someone needs money. Normally, if they have done what I need them to do, I’ll just give them a few dollars. If they need more than that, like $10 for the movies, then I tell them I’ll give them money if they take on a special chore, for example, the flower beds or washing my car. Once the job is done, they get the money.

Due to the fact that I have so many kids, being resourceful and industrious is strongly encouraged among my crew. They help out their grandparents frequently for a little extra spending money, they mow yards for a couple of our neighbors, they dog-sit. One of my boys works on a ranch every weekend. Another works part time at a store. If they want extra things, they have to earn the money and save for it.

Personally, I think this is a good thing. I love that my kids know the value of money. They aren’t just handed things; they work for what they want.

It’s also a really necessary thing in our case. My kids have everything they need and pretty much everything they really want. But, the reality of our family is that we just can’t afford to do a lot of extra. Sometimes I feel bad about it. A lot of times I wish I could do more. That said, I know that it never hurt anyone to work for what they have, and eventually this will make my kids more successful at adulting.

In addition, my kids all understand the tasks that make a house run smoothly. They can do them competently. If my kids really want to do something, they go above and beyond to get it. When they don’t have the money, they go without.

All in all, I think it’s a pretty good path to follow into adulthood.